Intoxicated Living

‘The world’s not as I expected,’ skeptically mused a person, time and again.  Although it was supposed to be a humor, it has some weigh.  The world has intoxicated our living by the time our conscience was put to practice.

Our mind becomes intoxicated with wants, selfish ambitions, adjustments with immediate neighborhood, and so on.  Physically, we have been pained, suffered, and many more, as we live our daily life.  These all are signs of us being alive, so it’s a blessing.

As if these weren’t enough, we have tons of ways to get intoxicated with.  Intoxication took away our understanding and makes us unwise, at times.  Our imperfect mind showed up when we speaks or acts as fools in our intoxicated state.

Necessary Intoxication:

The other day, medical practitioners took some amount of my blood, as they need to determine what had intoxicated my living.  The level of the drugs in my blood, which I had taken for a decade, had to be maintained at the so-called normal level.

Dosages of my medicines have to be increase if it’s lower than the desired level; or lowered otherwise.  My intoxicated blood becomes a boon for my normal living.  My movements and activities, however, get more limited than before.  Intoxication affects my life in some way.

Our body cells, neurons, and bloods are designed by our Creator to accept and intermingle with outside particles for good.  They secrete and excrete to keep our toxic level well balance to sustain our life.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made, which need consistent care.

Intoxicated by Pain:

Pain has become part of my normal life.  As I said earlier, to be able to feel the pain is another blessing.  It is a sign of me being normal and alive.  Let me tell you that I have been in a situation beyond pain, being unconscious, and the experience is worst than pain.

We all suffered some kind of pain, in different ways.  When our pain is too much it can blind our thinking, which suppressed our hope.  It intoxicated our thoughts and living.  Yet most pains are temporary or at least for a lifetime.  Our search for suppressing pain can be dangerous.

In our intoxicated life, with pain and suffering, we search for an entity or someone who’ll listen to our groaning, occasionally.  What if I can tell all?  It may somehow ease my occasional pain but it is hard to find a good listener.  We can be boring, a chronic complainer, and negative mindset to others.

Pain does not subsides by telling someone throughout so we all chose to keep quiet as much as possible.  It’s better to report our level of intoxication, by pain, to the Lord’s.

Intoxicated by Misery:  (1 Samuel 1)

Hannah was mistaken as a woman intoxicated by drinking wine when she poured out her deep misery before the Lord God.  In reality, she was intoxicated by misery.  She was severely provoked by her rival because she was barren; unable to bear son for her husband.

She’s a woman; I cannot say with certainty the level of her troubled heart.  It’d be difficult to empathize her being provoked.  Dear women, you’ll know better.  Her misery was beyond the love and understanding of her husband- Elkanah.

She was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord asking for a son, and wept in anguish until her voice was able to come out.  Imagine should you be in Hannah’s state of mind, it pained me.  One night, my chest was choked, as I read it to my children.  She was excessively intoxicated by her misery.

She did not care for what people would think.  The priest Eli had observed only her lips were moving, as she spoke to the Lord in her heart.  She vowed to give the child to the Lord, should the Lord grant her prayer.  This lady was in huge distress and she surrenders herself fully to the Lord.

Hannah knew that her situation has come to the level which can be solved only by the intervention of the Almighty God.  In her own conviction, she went to the Lord, because she has HOPE in Him.

She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

Beyond Hannah’ Misery:

There is an upside to her misery.  Hannah’s misery took her into the ministry of God.  She participated in God’s plan by bearing a ruler and priest for the Lord.  Her contribution or role in God’s ministry will be remembered as she did not shy away but approached the Lord.

It is great relief to read the next chapter, which consist of her praise to the Lord.  The Lord had granted Hannah’s prayer, she bore a son, named him Samuel.  Samuel was dedicated to the Lord; he grow onto become a priest who ruled and anointed the kings for Israelites.

Hannah’s Prayer of Gratitude:

In Chapter 2 of 1 Samuel, Hannah’s prayer of thanksgiving was recorded.  Her heart was filled with joy; for she witnessed the good deeds of the Lord.  Her bitter life turns into a rejoicing life.  She proclaimed: (1 Samuel 2: 2, 8, 9)

There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is o Rock like our God.  For the foundations of the earth are the Lord’s; on them he has set the world.  He will guard the feet of his faithful servants.

One day, or at least once in a while, we’d be set free from our intoxicated living, by the grace of God.  Now, a rejoicing heart is a blessed heart.  We should know how to be thankful and show our gratitude once we’re set free.

When the sun shines let us be thankful for the sun; and the sun don’t shine let us be thankful for the shad we got!

How to Get Free from Intoxicated Living?

We have talked in length the details of God’s work in Hannah’s life.  She was set free from her misery because she went to the Lord’s presence.  She knew her problem was beyond men can handle.

By hoping in the Lord, with great perseverance, we will be set free from our intoxicated living.  The time will come for us to be free from all kinds of troubles the world can bestowed upon us.

And for that, it is important to know the truth.  When we know the truth we can trust in Him.  Today, how are you intoxicated?  Let’s abide in Jesus Christ.  As Jesus Christ had declared, “the truth shall set you free.”  (John 8:32b)

I know it is hard to let a day pass when we’re in the midst of our afflictions and sufferings.  Yet we have HOPE, amidst our intoxicated living, through Christ Jesus!

Abiding Grace: The Joy of Letting Go

Our thought-process, sometimes, is beyond our control.  Our innate being has been blessed with great diversity, which altogether made up a sane being.  God’s abiding grace makes the necessary adjustments in our life.

Memories formed an important part of our living.  Memories help us retain good and bad things we came across.  We cannot simply let go of anything on our own nor can we retain memories on our own.  It seems so normal but it is not.

Another word for letting it go might be forgiveness.  Forgiveness comes from the Lord.  When we can forgive and forget, we find inner peace.  We can achieve it by being in the Lord.  The power of forgiveness works wonder in every life.

Forgetfulness, or being forgetful, is another thing which might hamper our living.  But in its normal tempo, we find rest and get a good night sleep.  Imagine your thinking process did not stop before going to sleep, it would be, and is, very tiresome.  In this context, we must be thankful to God for being forgetful.

As a normal human being, I hope, we have certain occurrence which we don’t want to let go.  It might be hurtful to us yet we don’t want to let go either.  Since all our ventures or adventures in the journey of life cannot yield good results, this kind of things happened.

Even after we have learned lessons from previous mistakes, it can still come to haunt us.  However, by being covered up in His abiding grace, we can lessen the aftereffects.   Letting it go helps us living past our dark period of life.

It is true that one can never preplan our journey of life in its minute details.  Sometimes the ‘very much’ unexpected person or occurrence, outside of our normal life, can still hurt us at the least expected time and place.  Still, this is life and we should be able to filter it and try letting it go.

Letting it Go
Letting Go

In our completely broken state, most of life’s lessons are best learned.  Let me interrupt you here: I am not saying that I’m a learned person.  Should you be saying, you’re living in your perfect world, I must agree with you too.  It is because you possess that power of letting it go under His abiding grace.

Ostensibly, the hardest part in life is letting it go of the memories of love ones who are gone way too soon.  Although they are gone, we tend to cherished them in our minds.  It is a good thing to remember them, yet it might lead to bitterness in living.  Take it all to the Lord; all will be fine in His abiding grace.  However, it should be noted that no human mind could fully understand the Lord’s way.

Try letting go without hurting them back, if someone hurts you.  Hurting back benefits none.  And it simply let our lives miserable.  By not hurting back, we seem to be a loser, but in reality, it benefitted us.  It is more closure to Christ-likeness also.

It gives us insurmountable pain, to not let go of something, which was already gone.  it also applies to something that wanted to go, yet we still want to keep it.  If it is difficult, ask God for help.  It is the most difficult part of life, especially, if it happens before we get ready.

There is power in letting go of certain bitter memories.  It can give us tremendous joy – the joy of living or the joy of letting it go.

Let me end herewith the greatest joy of letting it go:

Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins.  To one who is willing to accept that He forgives and forget his sins.  He took away our past sinful life.  We became a new creation in Him.  He let go of our, any amount of, previous transgressions!

This is the greatest Joy of Living we are bestowed through God’s abiding grace!

 

Please feel free to pour in your thoughts in the comment box.

Abiding Grace: The Joy of Feeling Pain

Pain is, undeniably, one of the gifts of life.  It is beneficial to our existence.  Yet it also leads to unpleasant living conditions.

Pain is a four letter word, however, with vast contents.  All types of pain can not be discussed in detail here.  Very broadly speaking, it can be categorized into two:

One, physical pain – caused by injury, illness, and the likes.  Two, mental or emotional pain, which might be caused by sufferings, torments, depression, and many more.

Here we will be talking more about physical pain.  It is because of God’s abiding grace that we can recover from all types of pain.  And that too, in its different ways, according to the type of pain.

As mentioned before, (in my previous posts) I had the privilege of visiting hospitals several times due to my illness.  Those visits were followed by few tests in the diagnostic centers.  One, very simple, pain was the needle prick for drawing samples, which was needed for testing.

Another time, I’d also witnessed, me rushing to Emergency Block of hospitals either in my conscious or unconscious state.  When one becomes unconscious, one does not feel any type of pain.  As long as we didn’t wake up, we cannot feel the pain, which is not a normal occurrence for one who’s still alive.

So, here we can call pain a blessing.  And, to be able, to feel the pain is a greater joy.  It is a sign of us being alive!  Many of the pain we met in our daily walk of life do not need treatment.  Does it simply come and go by itself?  Do you know who heal all those pains?  I did.

When one became unconscious, one can hardly feel the pain.  Again, when we began to recover from unconscious state, we are back into the process of recovering.  We can feel painful due to the abiding grace bestowed upon us.

A still from VEEG
Pain

More importantly, when we can tell the doctors the type of pain we are suffering or identify the exact location in our body, it helps in diagnosing the cause, which could become an important step for starting treatment.

Some of the pain did not get healed, even after all possible treatment.  There is a purpose behind it too.  Some might be blessed to know the reason behind it while some might not be.  There is an upside to everything.

Almost the same goes with emotional pain.  In simple terms, we can suffer emotional pain because we are still alive.  Sometimes we hurt another person and sometimes people hurt us, those are normal.  Yet, it is very difficult to bear emotional pain.

Emotional pain is hard to cure but it can be cured.  Those of us who are blessed with good people around can easily get rid of the pain.  Moreover, this pain can be bear together with few selective people unlike physical pain.  Let me leave it for you to decide, which one is more severe.

A good listener, even without an advice, can help cure emotional pain apart from the trained counselors.  Moreover, reminding ourselves of His abiding grace, which is sufficient and free for all, help us in recovering from emotional pain.

It might not be wrong to say, ‘Thank you, dear God. For, I could feel the pain!’  It depends on the individual and in our approach to life.  I am also one among those people to live with pain, almost every day.

Yes and I also agree, we cannot downplay the fact that all types of pain are very hard to bear at that particular moment or time.  Yet, with God everything is possible!

Again, let us be thankful.  A thankful heart is worth a million!

 

Please feel free to comment or add something about your thoughts.

A Glimpse of Heaven: My Personal Journey

It was just another normal day in winter.  My body is still weak from the recent surgery but recovering well.

As usual, with my son, we wake up early and go for a walk in the park on a wintry morning.  Soon we get back home, had our breakfast and began our day.  Had just underwent Brain Surgery last month but it seems I am recovering well.  So even a small time spent with my families is sweet and treasured.

It was almost noon when I feel something was wrong with me.  I told my wife to get help from neighbors and bring me to hospital.  My wife called our neighbors.  They rushed to our place but by the time they reached I remain unconscious.

They brought me to a hospital, they told.  However, as I remain unconscious I remember none of the ordeals.

My wife told that they brought me first to Safdarjung Hospital, which is about 10 kilometers approx. from our residence.  On being there, I was given some quick medication and was given oxygen through mask.  But then they had to rush me to GB Pant Hospital, which was about 11-12 kilometers from there.  GB Pant Hospital was where I was operated on 14th December, 2016.  On being there, I recovered in the Emergency Ward.   But as for me, when I regained consciousness, I found myself waking up in the Intensive Care Unit, as they already shift me there.

All through the journeys from our residence and my short stay at Safdarjung Hospital to GB Pant Hospital, I knew or felt nothing as I was unconscious.  These are my recollections base on what they told me.

But something was clear in my memory.  During those hard and unconscious times, I knew I was there somewhere else, which was totally a different scene.  I was there in the middle of the sky, up from the earth.  There I saw a huge and brightly lighted home that slowly moves towards me.  By the time it came close to me, a gently slope stairway with around 10-12 steps came down by my side.

Then a huge door was open for me.  Inside that huge door was a place filled with light.  The kind of brightness in that light was different.  It must be full of the Tree of Life.*  It was soft and never seen before light for me.  That was a place of life.  It seems to be full of oxygen.  I very much wanted to go inside that door.  There is this feeling that when I entered that door, I would started dancing and be “very much alive” there.   This is the place where there would be no more death.  My sickness would disappear.  Everyone would jump and dance in joy, this is how I felt.  The light, brightness, and the look of the place I find it hard to describe.  I don’t know what to compare it with.

Then with great excitement, I put my left leg to go up the stairway.  In that moment, I heard someone calling me from a very far off distance.  I could barely hear her voice.  But I recognized the voice was my wife’s.  Though I saw no one from that huge door, it seems someone is there and watching me.  I said, “Lord my wife and my children are still there.  They will need me.”

So I turn back to find her.  But then, when I look down, I saw her deep down there on earth.   They are very far from me.  She looked sad.  She was there sitting in great distress.  But it was dark around her and the place was filled with black dirt in comparison with what was before me.

That was when I felt I am back.  All of a sudden, I knew that door and stairway are no longer there.   That was the last thing I knew.

Back at the Hospital, my body was in severe pain when I regain my consciousness.   I longed for that place where I had almost been, but to no avail.  Many times I would say to myself, had I entered that door I would be very much alive and well.  But now I have to fight the pain on my body again.  However, all sickness and the pain was worth it as I catch a Glimpse of Heaven.

During this episode, I was there inside the Ambulance or either in the Hospital fighting for my life.   In other words, it all happened when I was shift to different places in an ambulance or in a trolley.

But then I thank God to see the light of another day here with my family.  Though it takes many days to recover from that, I am happy.  That is a reminder of where we would be after we are done with our life here on earth.  Now my father and my brother must be there spending time with our Savior.

In medical term, I underwent right Amygdalohippocampectomy on 14th December, 2015 to help cure my epileptic disorder, which I was fighting for more than nine years.  On 19th January, 2016 an episode of Status epilepticus occurred, that lasted for so long.

I felt happy and obliged to share this.  Also, I feel humbled to have a glimpse of Heaven.    All the prayers held for me are my lifeline now.  I am happy to be alive to tell this to you.

I felt happier to be accepted as a citizen in the kingdom of God by the blood of Jesus Christ.

*Read Tree of Life (Genesis 3:24, Revelation 22:2)

Amygdalohippocampectomy: removing the amygdala, a surgical procedure

Status epilepticus: a dangerous life threatening condition in which epileptic fits follow one another without recovery of consciousness between them.

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