Being a Stay At-Home-Dad: As the journey goes on

• Being a stay-at-home-Dad is a bigger challenge than I ever thought.  I was happy to be with them the whole time and play with them. It was a great privilege on my part to witness the growth of my children.  Every new thing they learn and taught by me gives immense pleasure on me.

• Teaching the way of life with my own life becomes a big task.  Children are more affected by their surroundings and they learned from what they see.  So many things in the life of an adult had to be kept away as long as you are with them.

• The privilege of enjoying my children comfortably sitting on my lap is my priority, for now.  My small kisses, wrapping them around my arms, my assurance, giving them ‘high fives’ for every small achievement, me being hugged tightly when they came home from school, etc. meant the world to me.

• From time to time, even in the least expected situation when they uttered “Papa, I love you…” it makes my living worthy.  The feeling of happiness was more than words to describe.  The time will come when they too would want to live as their heart desire, with the adrenaline kicking.  But they will love their parents more when they can reasoned again.

•  To be in the mood of a child for most of the day was heartening.  You should be quick to change your mood instantly.  Dance, when they demand, and cry at the same time to keep them entertaining.   Office life is a big get away ticket.  Since I’ve experienced both, I think, I can say this.

• It made me realized what my parents did to bring me up is worth more than an appreciation.   I respect them.  I love them more for what they did.  Something beyond what money can buy that cannot be repaid in its entirety.  When it is time for me to takeover as a full-fledge father, I simply, cannot leave it for somebody.

• Sowing a seed of life that thought would best suits their life is always risky.  It is more important to be able to keep them focus in the will of God.  To let them live a life worthy in the eyes of the Lord would fulfill my duty to look after them.

• Never did I think I’d be doing this job during my student life or when I first joined my banking job.  Working till retirement was what I had anticipated.  Unexpected turns are common in life.  And I know it will turn again, someday somewhere, for better or for worst.

• The time will come when my kids are all grown up, by God’s grace.  I don’t know what I would do in those times.  They may want me to work again so that I might earn again.  Since I have already left my fulltime job and getting a new job isn’t that easy.

• Day in day out, the thought of leaving my children in some crèche was disheartening at that time.  I do not regret doing what I do either.  Their happiness is my happiness.  I’d shed few tears when I put up my resignation for consideration, as it is a dream for any man to work in a reputed sector.

• In the meantime, my health plays a big spoil-sport.  It was, sometimes, disheartening as I could not spent time and play with them as much as I wanted to.  I have a big plan, for and with them, when I started to spent my time with them.

• Since we don’t know what future holds, we tried to fill their heart with valuable instructions, which I could impart at my best, to them.  So every moment was used as best as we could, I would say.

• Big respect to my wife, for putting food on the table, every day.  Every deeds and hard work of my wife was deeply appreciated.  In this way, when we worked together, we are able to run a small family, at our best.

• Should we be able to form a family, which is under God, it would be our dream fulfilled.  With great faith and hope, my children would, hopefully, walked in the ways of the Lord.  That would bring contentment to my life.

• Though there are certain difficulties and obstacles, at times missing my office atmosphere, in our chosen way of life, we are hopeful that our work would bear fruit someday.

PS: These are based on my personal journey in metro city.

A Glimpse of Heaven: My Personal Journey

It was just another normal day in winter.  My body is still weak from the recent surgery but recovering well.

As usual, with my son, we wake up early and go for a walk in the park on a wintry morning.  Soon we get back home, had our breakfast and began our day.  Had just underwent Brain Surgery last month but it seems I am recovering well.  So even a small time spent with my families is sweet and treasured.

It was almost noon when I feel something was wrong with me.  I told my wife to get help from neighbors and bring me to hospital.  My wife called our neighbors.  They rushed to our place but by the time they reached I remain unconscious.

They brought me to a hospital, they told.  However, as I remain unconscious I remember none of the ordeals.

My wife told that they brought me first to Safdarjung Hospital, which is about 10 kilometers approx. from our residence.  On being there, I was given some quick medication and was given oxygen through mask.  But then they had to rush me to GB Pant Hospital, which was about 11-12 kilometers from there.  GB Pant Hospital was where I was operated on 14^th December, 2016.  On being there, I recovered in the Emergency Ward.   But as for me, when I regained consciousness, I found myself waking up in the Intensive Care Unit, as they already shift me there.

All through the journeys from our residence and my short stay at Safdarjung Hospital to GB Pant Hospital, I knew or felt nothing as I was unconscious.  These are my recollections base on what they told me.

But something was clear in my memory.  During those hard and unconscious times, I knew I was there somewhere else, which was totally a different scene.  I was there in the middle of the sky, up from the earth.  There I saw a huge and brightly lighted home that slowly moves towards me.  By the time it came close to me, a gently slope stairway with around 10-12 steps came down by my side.

Then a huge door was open for me.  Inside that huge door was a place filled with light.  The kind of brightness in that light was different.  It must be full of the Tree of Life.*  It was soft and never seen before light for me.  That was a place of life.  It seems to be full of oxygen.  I very much wanted to go inside that door.  There is this feeling that when I entered that door, I would started dancing and be “very much alive” there.   This is the place where there would be no more death.  My sickness would disappear.  Everyone would jump and dance in joy, this is how I felt.  The light, brightness, and the look of the place I find it hard to describe.  I don’t know what to compare it with.

Then with great excitement, I put my left leg to go up the stairway.  In that moment, I heard someone calling me from a very far off distance.  I could barely hear her voice.  But I recognized the voice was my wife’s.  Though I saw no one from that huge door, it seems someone is there and watching me.  I said, “Lord my wife and my children are still there.  They will need me.”

So I turn back to find her.  But then, when I look down, I saw her deep down there on earth.   They are very far from me.  She looked sad.  She was there sitting in great distress.  But it was dark around her and the place was filled with black dirt in comparison with what was before me.

That was when I felt I am back.  All of a sudden, I knew that door and stairway are no longer there.   That was the last thing I knew.

Back at the Hospital, my body was in severe pain when I regain my consciousness.   I longed for that place where I had almost been, but to no avail.  Many times I would say to myself, had I entered that door I would be very much alive and well.  But now I have to fight the pain on my body again.  However, all sickness and the pain was worth it as I catch a Glimpse of Heaven.

During this episode, I was there inside the Ambulance or either in the Hospital fighting for my life.   In other words, it all happened when I was shift to different places in an ambulance or in a trolley.

But then I thank God to see the light of another day here with my family.  Though it takes many days to recover from that, I am happy.  That is a reminder of where we would be after we are done with our life here on earth.  Now my father and my brother must be there spending time with our Savior.

In medical term, I underwent right Amygdalohippocampectomy on 14^th December, 2015 to help cure my epileptic disorder, which I was fighting for more than nine years.  On 19^th January, 2016 an episode of Status epilepticus occurred, that lasted for so long.

I felt happy and obliged to share this.  Also, I feel humbled to have a glimpse of Heaven.    All the prayers held for me are my lifeline now.  I am happy to be alive to tell this to you.

I felt happier to be accepted as a citizen in the kingdom of God by the blood of Jesus Christ.

*Read Tree of Life (Genesis 3:24, Revelation 22:2)

Amygdalohippocampectomy: removing the amygdala, a surgical procedure

Status epilepticus: a dangerous life threatening condition in which epileptic fits follow one another without recovery of consciousness between them.