Abiding Grace: The Joy of Experiencing Hallucination

In my journey of life, several times, I’d experienced hallucinations due to health related problems.

Those series are not my cherished moments yet it is worth recalling in counting God’s abiding grace.  In some ways, it is beneficial to me, in the walk of life.

Hallucination may mean, a state of mind or experience involving apparent perception which is not real.  Synonyms of hallucination are illusion, delusion, mirage, delirium, and many more.

Let me share you just one instance of the experience:

We were dealing with finance and accounting jobs in the office during those days.  In the middle of the day, we can be very busy with our work usurping our mind and energy.  The stage was set for my hallucination, and I never knew that.

Being in the capital city of India, Hindi and English are the spoken language, although Hindi edge over English here.  At an instance, it suddenly seems that all the persons near me are speaking in one tongue.  That too, my native language (mother tongue) and the likes, which was spoken in my hometown some thousand miles away!

This time my vision was not blurred, as I feel it.  It’s just that the language spoken or what I heard that makes the difference.  Hallucinating, in some ways, the experiences one had gone through can be dissimilar.

The situation was uncontrollable and I seemed to enjoy the atmosphere, as I did not know that I was hallucinating.  It was beyond what one could do something.

Still, I was busy working in my computer when it stop happening.  Workplace colleagues helped me get home that day.

Several wrong financial transactions were made by me in that short span of time.  But then, God’s abiding grace is sufficient for me as there was no such transaction, which cannot be rectified.  The occurrence helped me realized the so many good sides of my colleagues.

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These few problems showed more of the goodness of my friends.  Many times, they sent me home or helped me out.

Unclear Perception

More importantly, it is a huge privilege to be able to wake up from hallucinating.  There is very less or almost nothing one could do when it really happens.  It is because of God’s abiding grace only, that we could be living.  That’s one among the joys of living.

It gives me joy to be alive and tell the tales of my mild sufferings till now.  Yet I am more thankful for everything that we have experienced.

But one thing, in our semi-conscious state, sometimes we tend to utter things which are less valuable.  So, dear readers, enjoy the joy of living life to its fullest extent while you can.

And, always remember, you might be more blessed, than some of us, to not have gone through sufferings which might hamper your being.  Be happy and stay blessed.

Since His grace is abiding and/or enduring, God knows what is best for us!  Yet it is difficult to say that all the time.

Altogether, it constituted, what is called, the Joy of Living!

Abiding Grace: The Joy of Sleeping

It was well past midnight.  I close my eyes but I did not sleep.

I am in my thirties, not old as yet.  My normal body functioning has changed, some years ago.

Just one mistake, I did not take my medicine in time.

My body needs rest.  My mind needs rest.  And the pain will ease.  If I didn’t get enough sleep, more serious problem might follow.  I was, already, warned about the possible consequences during my hospital stay, and I knew that too.

When we were young and healthy, sleepiness comes too soon – even before we were ready!  I wanted to read more but felt too sleepy to go on.  Before I knew it, it was morning!

When morning comes, I woke up fresh – hale, and hearty because of the good night’s sleep – rested well.  Get ready for the day’s work humming music with a huge smile.

Yet, when I thank God for the goodnight sleep, I tend to rush through it.  I hardly pause for a moment to let my heart be filled with joy from up above.  The happiness was priceless.   God’s abiding grace, which was bestowed upon me, I hardly gave sincere thought.

The night in my bed, turning from side-to-side, I’d battled for sleep and rest.  It was not as easy as it seems.  It was a gift from God.  When I can’t sleep in time, the night seems to be a long dark period of life.  One night feels like a year of drought where everyone is deprived of good harvest, which would eventually led to unrest.

But still, in those sleepless nights, when I can sense the Lord’s presence; my heart rested.  However, the body witnessed strain eyes and sleep-deprived body ache.  The Lord gives sleep to His beloved.  Sleep gives us rest!

Medicine-induced sleep is tiresome and non-enjoyable.  Several times I’d experienced it.  More than that, sedation is hard to bear when you wake up.  I have been through it, and I could say, I knew it.  The one gifted by God is all special more than we know.

To sleep and be able to wake up again is the greatest gift of all.  It signifies the superiority of the living God.  The day will come when we won’t wake up again.

I lay down and when I woke up the Lord is still with me.  When I won’t wake up again, that day, I’ll be with my Savior!

sleeping peacefully

Once again, sleep is a wonderful gift we get from God.  And to wake up again is even more beautiful.  It is because of His abiding or enduring grace, which cannot be bought.

God’s abiding grace is sufficient for all, especially to His children in Christ.  His grace is priceless!

Let us be thankful!

 

Please fell free to add your comments, experiences, and thoughts.

Children of God: When the Angels hold them dearly

We lived in the third floor of a building.  We used the stairs every day.

There is no escalator or lift service in our block.  Only for some fitness freak people, we are their envy.

Stairway

For instance, walking in the lofty stairs could be risky as we have small children.  One day, as we walked down the stairs:

 

”Dear, walk slowly.  Let me hold your hand,” I said to my five-year-old son, cautiously.

“Papa, the angels are holding me! I will not fall” he replied joyously.  And he was right!  Sometimes, when he is galopping down the stairs, I couldn’t hold him.  The angels did!

Although this time, he was hinting at me that I don’t need to be over-cautious when his confidence is building up, as he walked.

Accidents and/or mistakes occurred in split-seconds.  In all the other remaining time, we are protected and hold dearly.  Even those split of seconds are priceless.

“Oh! I also wanted to have that kind of faith,” I sighed heavily.

Certain number of my life’s trouble would wither away in thin air, should I have that kind of faith in me.  My son was always a good reminder, or an agent of assurance from above.

It also reminded me of Psalms 91, also referred to as the Messianic Psalm in the Bible. The deliverance of how the Messiah would be.  We are blessed to have Him in our life.

Many times, Fear takes over my Faith, which sometimes, makes me wanted to live in reclusion: the short-lived joy, seeing the future as bleak, no way out in my reach, seeing self as a burden.

In those moments, in the least expected way, God speaks in a still small voice, as we waited on Him.  Troubles and sorrow are for life-long but His assurance in our pursuit of Happiness, is what we longed for.

Psalms 91 says, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High.  (He or She) Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”*

Now, this is what I talked about or that my son had reminded me today.  Psalms 91:11-12 says,

“For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways.
In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.”

How much care is bestowed upon us!  To us, the unworthy souls!

Had I knew it and be in Him, day in-day out, in all possible path of life, why would I be weary and so tired?  I said to myself over and over.

One very important thing to be noted here: The devil (read as Satan here) who is trying every possible way to deceive us, simply, did not take rest either.  The devil quotes these very verses (Psalms 91:11-12) during the Temptation of Christ. (Luke 4:10-11)

Once in a while, our eyes are blinded and we missed our path.  And, we wandered away from the protection of God via the angels.

In the end, let us remind each other, again and again, God binds us with His ever powerful words and deeds.

As the Psalmist declared; I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” (v.2)

*my emphasis added.

A Broken Bicycle

A Broken Bicycle

Sam, a young boy, was hustling down his old bicycle in the streets.  As usual, there were people queuing in the vicinity of a dented building.  He was trying to run pass the crowd when suddenly the cycling chain broke into two pieces.

‘Many times I told my father to get me a new one’, he murmured angrily to himself, as he stood there helpless for a while.

Another boy Jim, who was standing in a long queue nearby, was watching the boy.  He saw what was happening.  More so, he was envious of the boy’s bicycle.  As the boy was cursing, he knew that the boy had a father too.

‘Oh! I wish I had a daddy too’ he sighed heavily.  Jim was trying to get shelter for the night for him and his sick mother.  They are force out of their rented room few months ago.  Jim was happy they got a shelter for the night.

Meanwhile Sam seems to have a terrible day.  But his mother came, and took him home in their car.

Sam’s mother doesn’t look happy either.  By the way and how she behaves with his son; it seems she was too tired taking care of everything for the family.

In a moment, they reached home.  They called the local mechanical agency to fix the broken bicycle. The mechanic came late.  However, he managed to get there just before darkness takeover the dimming sunlight.

Sam’s mother enquired what took him so long.  The mechanic apologized, and told her that he had to buy some medicines on the way and that takes time more than usual.

The mechanic told them, he needed the money for his treatment, so he came despite that.   If not he wouldn’t have come.  He further told her that he used to work in a company.  In the company, he was in the back office operations.  However, he could no more meet his employer’s daily requirement due to his body ailments.  One day, he had to quit the job and he requested his employer to help him.

The request was granted and that is to remain available when there is excess demand for service.  But this time, as a mechanics, the skill he learned during his stay with them.

However, one thing is certain.  He will be able to pay for few medicines more.  The poor mechanic look so happy with what he got, his life.  He was cheerful and happy, humming few songs while repairing the cycle.

The necessary repairing is done.  He put his tools in a bag, and was about to leave the place.  He was so good in his work.  It left Sam giving him a big smile.

Out of a sudden Sam’s father appeared and thank the mechanic. He shook his hand and told him that he was watching from the window, as he was performing his job.

‘You came in the right time,’ he said.  The mechanic was wondering what he was trying to say.

Then he added, ‘I will not bring home my workplace stress with me anymore.  I needed to be happier that I was able to work although I do not fully love my job’.

Contentment depends on our approach to life.

Nurturing young minds

They were playing with their toys.  Enacting stories to the best effort they can achieve.  The elder would perform monologue when he feels like.  The younger appreciated the effort of her brother.  Laughter and cheering filled the room.  It is the ideal atmosphere every family would dream of.

The words spoken were pure, coming straight from the heart.  There is no sign of manipulating any situation created so that one might gain edge over the other.   Two kids enjoying their time with the few toys they had.  When they need to use rude words, I enquired where they heard the words.  It was from us parents or from outside the house.  They learned from what they saw and heard.

I hardly interfere while they were playing.  Since becoming a stay-at-home dad, I had the privilege of watching nearby them.  Whenever they needed an extra person for role-playing, I’d dropped in.  I served, mostly, as their quick dictionary or adviser the whole time.  It was worth the wait and the watch.  I feel like saying, folks don’t grow up.  The world is full of evil minds.  But I cannot do that either.

Many thoughts came to my mind; before they became intoxicated with the real world full of crooks.  The phrase, ‘Grow up! Get a life!’ was used many times, to the honest and kind-at-heart kids, who are not willing to get adapted to the cruel world.  Can you imagine what the world has become?  Our kids are at risk whenever they step out of the house.  Worst still, some are at a greater risk at home.

What have the human heart become?  What goes wrong?  Oh my!  There are so many things to tell.  Give the kids their own space. Nurturing and caring them to illuminate their innate being to create better societal values may lead to more peaceful surroundings, mind you.  The more we become old the more our minds get corrupted with evil thought.

By teaching them the way of life, sometimes I feel, we are simply imbibing the ideals of a cruel world.  ‘You know son, when you go out you should be careful not to talk to any stranger’ was a common piece of advice we gave them.  ‘They are not good people, avoid them as you can’.  We taught them so that in the least they can help us in safeguarding them.  That’s our duty.  But on the flip side, we are teaching them bad things that can be done.  You might not agree here.  I did not fully agree though.  But I wanted to emphasize on the condition of the world we lived in.

Had the minds been still pure as they did in our younger days, the world would be full of laughter and happiness.  Still we can something starting from our home to change the world.  Nurture the young minds to live up to their mind.  Bringing up children, if taken seriously, was a big challenge.  To bring up a peace-loving and harmonious mind in today’s world would be a huge challenge.  Still then, our best should be tried.

There are a tremendous amount of good things to learn from children.  Corrupted minds and corrupted thoughts should learn lessons from the young minds.  But who would do that!  We don’t have time for others, nor do we try to learn that costs nothing.

Special Time; Story Time at Home

Story time at home

It was mostly quiet at this time of the day.  For most of the city slickers, it is time to take rest just after having their lunch.  My children were done with their assigned work.  It was calm, and the wind was lazy, just before taking their noon time nap, it was story time for us.

“Papa, tell us a story,” they demanded .  Our special time is about to begin.

They would settle down into their favorite place, or should I say, ‘our story place’ of the house facing the trees.  I’d gather them around my arms and hold them together to narrate stories, which I hope would have morals in their life.  I have the chance to pick the genre of stories, but not always.

For a Dad, who was no more working, it was always special to be able to spend precious time with my children.  Most of the time, stories told by my Dad and Granddad, in my younger days were retold.  It was a time to inculcate knowledge about the reality of life to the young minds.

Relatively important topics like; why people die? Why is my sister a female? Why not all humans are male? and the likes, were covered in these times.  It was always a special moment in a day.

Why did Mommy need to work?  This needed to be answered many times.  Most of the times, my kids get emotional, and, I feel, draw closer to me.  But what is more important is to tell them the importance of what Mommy is doing for them.  Balancing act needed to be done cautiously.

One thing that made me happy was their eagerness to learn and knows the life stories of Jesus Christ.  After every short stories or topic-wise discussion, came up the demand for at least a brief incident in the life of Jesus.  That always ended up with me enacting the implications of what has been told.

This small practice, simply, many times reminded me of the sharpness of young minds.  How the world has changed the mind of people and the impact of technology on their minds, which I will later discuss here, can be seen.

It makes life worth living.  Happiness can be seen from small things in life rather than the much-anticipated or highly-rated social events.